Wow, what a horrific past few months. You know sometimes God wants us just to be still and know that He is God. I have had that opportunity to do just that when I had to have major back and neck surgery. I was also having so many other issues in the hospital such as not being able to swallow, my breathing due to a rare lung disease, my leg turning to the right due to my surgery leaving me in a brace to straighten out my leg, and the nerve pain. The doctor said I completely quit breathing during the surgery. I was in the hospital 9 days and then went to rehab for 3 weeks, then began in home therapy, and now just started out-patient therapy. It has been a long haul, and still have a way to go. But, through this process I have got so much closer to the Lord it’s amazing.
I had never been so helpless, and hopeless. I was working from home at the time, even though I was not supposed to be, I was still under doctors care. But, I did it due to me not wanting to leave him in a mess and getting further behind. In excruciating pain the whole time, I got all the books caught up and all the work that I had missed, then was terminated for not being able to get back to work sooner than I was able to. I was only paid half my pay for all the time I worked even though I was on salary. I have had to repent on how I reacted, I was very upset and reacted, instead of praying about it first before responding back.
Then I felt even more helpless, I could not even look for another job due to me still recovering. I went into panic mode, what are we going to do, how are we going to pay these bills, which left us not being able to pay our bills because we really depended on my salary. With all this going on week after week, and night after night not sleeping due to worrying and the stress it placed on my family in the midst of me trying to recover. A few weeks later, I started to have a calm over me like no other.
I truly have forgiven my boss, and now I can even pray for Him. God wanted me to know, take my hands off the situation, and let God be my vengeance, Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 2 Thessalonians 1:6 Since indeed God considers it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you,
He does a much better job than I ever could. I started walking outside for some of my therapy with my walker. One beautiful afternoon while I was walking I sat down on my walker to look at the lake and rest. While I was there, I noticed the fountain and how the water would recycle. It goes through a filter cleaning it then it comes back out the top looking just beautiful. I felt like the Lord showed me that He wanted me to see that is what is happening with me right now. He is refining me cleaning out my filter so I can come out on top and be beautiful to show how He has worked in my life through this process.
Now everyday when I walk by that fountain, I smile and say “refine me Lord, make me come out even better. And still share and minister to others how you showed up in my life. I am in a position now that all I can do is trust in Him, I have no control over anything at this point, and I am right where God wants me for now, learning to lean on Him, and put my trust in Him alone. Now, when I walk I look at that fountain, then I look on the other side of the lake, and it is so calm and peaceful. So, for now I am in the fountain process, but I know after this, God is going to bring me to the peaceful and calm side, I love seeing how God works in my life. Keep your head up sweet friends in the middle of the fountain and know God has a calm and peaceful time for you also.
Ronnie and Christie
Doing Life Together